Sunday, October 18, 2009

Potty Obsession


Since we began potty training when the bourgie baby turned 1, it has been an ever present issue between our relationship. She views her training panties as a skull cap; her potty chair as a step ladder, and toilet tissue as confetti. Is there a waning gibbous in the sky?
Today, something odd occurred. After two accidents in her training pants I decided to move the chair into the bedroom to make it more accessible as I hole her up in the bedroom as I grade my online classes. Now, I think she's just messing with me. She's using the chair as a recliner. Sometimes she is sitting there attempting to potty, she'll leave and come back 2-3 times until she's got a good assortment of toys - each time cautious to pull up her training pants as she walks away and pulls them back down when she returns. But now, she's just sitting there with her training pants up playing.

I don't think there's a magic trick to make this happen; similar to how people put hot sauce on a child's thumb or crushing up their vitamins in their morning juice, what would be the potty equivalent? Double sided tape on the rim, cheerios in the bowl, threats punctuated with a spatula?

Friday, October 16, 2009

Wu Tang Got it Wrong: Cream Runs Everywhere Always, Mama

video

Not the other way around:

"Ow! It stung me" - All the b-girls are in pre-school


The other day, the bourgie baby was eating up her baked chicken and smashed potatoes when my friend exclaimed, "Uh oh, look at the b-girl over there!"
Sure enough, my babe was sitting in her booster seat arms crossed across her chest, head to a mild gansta lean. What was this? This look wasn't becoming and it sure wasn't my Noodle. She has been known to bust a move on the dance floor and awkwardly stomp in place and in a circle when the credits roll at the conclusion of The Game. But the b-girl stance, this was totally new.

This morning, out of sheer randomness, I decided to stay behind and chill at her new daycare. Since moving back to Memphis, the bourgie baby has adjusted to her new urban lifestyle as she adapts to life in our predominately Jewish neighborhood where all non-Kosher meats stay on the reduced rack. She is delighted by traffic and the hustle and bustle of the 240 loop and the tree lined streets whizzing through Mid Town to the barren landscape of Downtown.

Her daycare has been an awesome oasis for crafts, and science, and art. How do toddlers manage to understand these concepts? I've been pretty clueless when I blindly drop her off and zoom back out the door to get to work on time. In the evenings, Noodle looks flushed and eager to give me her daily report that says things in the daily lesson list "Skin over my body", "Snakes", and "Splish Splash". I deduced it to pictures and random acts of play throughout the day. But what I saw this morning had nothing to do with babies shaking their ass.

Today was fun Friday and all tots were to bring a stuffed animal. Yeah, they have homework and the Noodle got a 75% this week. I managed to get her mini pumpkin but uh, yeah, forgot about that stuffed animal...There was a lot of buzz about everyone's stuffed toys and they were eager to share. During circle time, the tots sat with their toys as if it were another student in the room...then they commenced to sing. "Good morning everybody! How do you do? Good morning everybody! How do you do? I'm so glad to see you here! How do you do?...(wait for applause) Alright class, how is the weather today, anybody want to tell me?" A chubby cherub tot gets up to run to the window and blabbers something...I sit amazed...they really understand? Maybe me and Papa Bear should cease and desist with our candid conversations in the car as she quietly sits in the back seat "pretending" to look out the window. She's a NARC! Then they sing "It's cloudy today...." Everything is a song.

Then they go into their preschool song list including the oldie but goodie "Baby Bumblebee."

By the second verse, I was in tears laughing at their glee and participation. "I'm picking up the baby bumble bee. Ow! It stung me!" The entire class folds their arms across their chest in mock disbelief. Were they about to go into a verse of LL Cool J's "I'm Bad!"?
It was too cute for words. Then it was just a whirl of activities: they discussed snakes, a continuation of their lesson on "The Skin I'm in", went to separate activities that included the art table where a group "drew" snakes, then manipulatives, reading books, Elmo's World, snake throwing, more dancing, and visiting the science center.
Who knew that randomly choosing a daycare would have resulted in a world class and nurturing school that any bourgie mom could be proud of...and one doesn't have to go for broke just to educate their kid.