How to waste a "mommy day"

So, Papa Bear got the Noodle for the weekend and all I can do is sit in my bed. Why am I not out and about, enjoying a $20.09 meal?

All I can do is recuperate the energy and enjoy the solitude and peace. But all I think about is how my Noodle is doing, is her hair together, does she have an undershirt on...Let me get out the bed and enjoy some sunshine.

I talk to myself because there is no one to talk to

I can honestly say I talk on the phone and Twitter and FB and email a little too much and a lot of the times, I'm doing it from my cell phone. Unfortunately the bourgie babe has developed a nasty habit of using up her daytime minutes on her VTech phone.


Her mannerisms and gestures are spot on imitations of me. This new epiphany of me raising myself recently is now my quest to truly understand myself and see what can be changed. Is motherhood like another form of time travel?

Harpo ain't doing no beating up in here

Bourgie moms...where are we officially standing on discipline of our bourgie babes? It seems that me and Noodle are at a cross roads in our relationship...a bi-polar universe of devilish defiance and conceding bouts of nurturing affection.

How can I discipline and have a holding period where she renounces her ways in the corner while I actually consider holding back the hug she wants to give me as soon as she knows she's got my eye's attention. She coyly turns to the side to see if I'm watching her in the corner...some jubilant mutter that vobbles between a whisper and cooing (a baby purr, perhaps?). Surely she has a sly cat tale somewhere...toddlers truly know how to stalk their pray because they cut their fangs into their poor mothers, the first victims of child manipulation.

Lord knows I don't want her to be a self doubting, gnagging, idle bourgie chap like that Harlem Heights crew. But how can I deal with an increasingly defiant only child bourgie virago that mirrors my ways and temperament...My God...I'm raising myself, cosmic MOMMY KARMA...the very thing that every baby boomer mother has claimed they want to live to see be walloped onto their Gen X sassily indignant daughters.

How can I deal with me but 30 years ago? Venus is in retrograde.