Thursday, August 30, 2007

Just a lil Ratchet today

So today is my good friend's Ashley's birthday but I will not share her age. She might want to fight me. But her age is such an attestment to our generation: reaching the Big 3-0. Oops, I let it slip!
Here I am, 28 with my first child and many have wondered why I have waited so long. When is the right time to have a child? Those folks who question me on why I waited so long, did they wait for the right age and are they still convinced that their children are a blessing to them, despite their "ratchet" and dysfunctional ways and means.
Yes, I have picked up on some new lingo today. Bourgie or not, I am selective in my music and every once in a while when I've grown tired of my CD playlist or don't have my XM Radio in the car, I must suffer through Clearchannel Communications negotiations of what they feel are R&B/Hip Hop/Urban Adult Contemporary. Since late last year, I've been hearing of this rapper named Lil Boosie, who from the sound of their voice, I just knew it was this big chic reminiscent of Lady Rage (some of you might be too young to remember). But, no, just a lanky brother from Baton Rouge with a strange sinusy tone who claims we all got some ratchet in us...

His notoriety is surely building and certainly so if the New York Times did a piece on him. Kalefa Sanneh wrote this pretentiously objective piece which had my friend Ashley and I giggling hysterically. Don't get me wrong, I love hip hop like the next person but for some reason I just can't give it up to a rapper who some feel has a conscious Machiavellian take on the world. I can just imagine Lil Boosie getting his next rap together with the word "Machiavelli" in it.
Anyway, you can tell that this journalist, Sanneh, is really trying to break down the particulars and alienness of hip hop to their readers by explaining one of Lil Boosie's partners name, Untame Mayne: “Mayne” is regional slang for “man,” but his verse isn’t as marvelous as his stage name. Despite his inability to spell man correctly and is a subpar rapper, Sanneh has clearly delineated his skills and colloquial knack to the very practicality of his name - merely untame. Ouch!

Read on for yourselves:

Inevitably, Lil Boosie steals the show with a wonderfully shrill, sing-song
verse. He cheerfully salutes a money-making mother in the club: “She got ’bout
nine children, but she be makin’ ’fetti/But I can’t talk ’bout li’l mama ’cause
I got three already.” And in the chorus, he sums up the state of the world: “He
ratchet, she ratchet/Man, we all got some ratchet in us.” Visit to hear it.
All of this raises an obvious question. And on Tuesday night, during a visit to the Atlantic Records office in Midtown, Lil Boosie was happy to provide an answer, of a sort. What does ratchet mean? He chuckled, then provided a few examples. “Outside, your car might be clean as a” — well, finish the simile yourself — “but junky inside. You might be Miss America, but with yellow teeth. Everybody got
something wrong with ’em.”


So, I say all of this to go back to my original issue of people deeming children as a blessing, but our rearing of them is clearly ratchet from the start...OK, that's my last time using that word. It just ain't me, playa!



Friday, August 24, 2007

Headaches are for the Strong Willed

They truly are. I've been battling them all week. My obgyn claims, comically, "you know, pregnant women get headaches." Isn't that a human condition...?

Anywho, still adjusting to the new job. I'll save my comments for personal and casual conversations with close friends at a secure time and place.

Lil Bug has been moving around so i've been feeling that butterfly fishy swimmy feeling. It's pretty cool. My belly is getting on out there. It's so time to go shopping for my maternity guise.

I'm allowing my Tylenol Rapid Release do their thing and I feel better than I did 12 minutes ago. I can imagine the little Acetaminophen Army who look like little muscle bound men stomping into my arteries and vessels, and when they get to their designated location, they stand resolute and hold out their muscle bound arms stretching out my vessels to allow adequate blood flow and release the tension building. Unfortunately, they just get pissed out when the job's done.

I talked to my brother from another mother, Toby1Kenobi today who always keeps me laughing - it came in handy this morning while I was sitting here bored at work. Me & Him have been having headaches of our own, particularly with haters - which is why I changed the bourgie song of the moment to Little Brother's "Hate". It's so right on time. I hate haterous mugs - such a waste of time and space. They always have hate for that. They hate on themselves because they hate themselves.

Anywho, headaches are a clear sign that you are fighting some type of adversity, whether biological or traitorous. I just have to remind myself of this: "But as for me, I will walk in mine integrity: redeem me, and be merciful unto me. My foot standeth in an even place..." - Psalms 27:11-12.

And that's the word!

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Nostril Report: Do you smell what the baby is cooking?

I put this picture in b/c it's so cute...anyway,
I have been smelling a grab bag of different foods lately.

My husband was talking with his hands yesterday, and I swore he secretly indulged in fresh boiled crab yesterday with out me.

While sitting in bed with him, chit chatting, I clearly smelled a fresh sheet cake with buttercream icing. It was so fresh. My chops runneth over...I have a day dreamy nose.

Anywho, sitting at work, bored as hell right now. I must say, I've had a bit of an attitude today. Self-imposed I must say; though I wonder if Lil Bug had anything to do with it. I was so tired this morning after sleeping for 9 hours interrupted (Halleleujah!). It was pretty rough for me. I was very whiney this morning. I surprised myself. Weepy from sleepiness, lethargic while eating breakfast, the dragginess of my heavy belly (he's only the size of a lemon yet I feel heavy), and a determined husband who can't rub my feet or show some compassion to his ailing and dying wife while he prepares for was rough on me this morning.

Pregnancy does seem like some type of terminal illness. A little life/being sucking out all the nutrients and when you birthed them into the world, you could very well take the wrong road at the Crossroads (I faintly hear Bone, Thugs, and Harmony in my consciousness somewhere). My mama always told me you damn near die bringing a child into the world; but she supplicates the ugly truth by saying you forget all about it when they lay the baby on your chest. She has a knack for morbid sentimentality.

but yes, my attitude is very vulgar. I've placed a dark cloud over my cubby area, I glare at people when they talk to me, and I had the nerve to send an email to my director while he sat at his desk 7 feet away from me. The joy of being attitudish was squelched b/c he hasn't even checked the email I guess it does pay to send it b/c I would've forgotten to ask him by now. You know, this may be hormonal.

Anywho, my day dreamy nose, me, and Lil Bug will tarry off to no particular place. We're trapped in this joint for another 3 1/2 hours. Perhaps tomorrow will be a better day.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Yessuh, Masta - Workin in the Hotbox

OK...I returned to work today after having Friday off for a doctor's appointment, only to encounter a hotbox. Look at me...that is not a maternal glow all over my face. That is sweat. I'm sweating down my face, back, legs, boobs, feet...I'm looking at the thermostat and this joint has the nerve to say 87 degrees.

And no, I do not work at a warehouse.

I'll be in my car.


Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Zee Boss Zoes Not Zcare

Well the other 1/3 found out yesterday and my director took the news as if I said, "Black people need to get it together." He was like "Sure. Sure. that's fine. Anyway..." and went on to the next subject. He proclaims he's a family man (going strong with 4) and was like, "Sure, no big deal." Imagine all of this in his Nigerian accent...he says "Sure" alot.

Anywho, I've spent the majority of my week tracking down organizations and movements to align ourselves with and making plenty of Excel spreadsheets. This bourgie baby is the king of lists! He's so brilliant. I wonder if babies really do add to your brilliance. Follow me in this segue...

So I was watching My Wife and Kids and Michael convinced Jr. that by touching his new baby, it made him smarter. Here's a snippet of that episode.

Updates with me:
  • Hmmm....dealing with itchy belly lately. Been using 7 Wonders Miracle Oil that can be used on your scalp, body, nails, hair, feet, bath, you can cook with it (kidding), think I saw something on there about hemorrhoids (kidding, again)...but it makes you wonder with those multi-purpose oils that are marketed to Black people. But it keeps me belly moisturized.
  • Been eating small portions because that's all I can really handle.
  • Love me some mangoes, especially the Dole frozen ones!
  • Tend to wake up at 2 or 3am...usually starving or just restless. I usually sit there for 2 hours and then I go back to sleep, only to hear my alarm go off in 30 minutes...time to get ready for work. Lil Bug, why are you doing this!!??
  • I go to bed at 8:30pm, like clock work, weekday and weekends...I"m missing so much of my Tivo time, it's ridiculous.

Lil Bug and I are enjoying work. We've adjusted to the commute and early rising. We just need our breakfast and snacks in between meals. It's all about cheddar making and we don't work at a cheese factory.

Bout to get off. God knows what's for dinner.

Meme & Lil Bug

Friday, August 3, 2007

Hot Dollar Report: Crowding the workplace

Well, I broke the news to 2/3 of my colleagues at work...only after one of them busted me out.

sitting at my desk this morn, 8:30ish, and I smell the hot, steamy, fresh out the grease smell of onion rings, particularly the onion rings from Sonic, and so I asked the office, "Does anybody else smell onion rings?" I mean, the smell was so clear. My colleague instantly gave me that raised eyebrow look with a smile and she was like "Something is wrong with need to go to the doctor...soon!"

Women just know. Especially other mothers. They know. You can't hide it. I just knew they were going to bust me out in my first few days. Those tight slacks were a clear giveaway. But innocent onion ring comment outed me.

Next step...telling my director! They reassured me it would be no big deal. I can't be fired thanks to that whole Family Act and some other laws I'm suspecting. How sad that had to be enacted. But me and this bourgie baby gotta make that cheddar...yes, this bourgie baby works too. He's the all new topic of discussion. He might as well have his own desk and/or cubbie.

Even though those onion rings were smelling good (were they really apart of my imagination?) I can't figure myself eating them right now. Luckily we're doing Chinese tonight (see previous entry "Ho Chi Mean Green").