Sunday, July 29, 2007

I got Simpsonized, among Other things

Though I haven't seen the movie, in the midst of this pregnancy "debacle", I managed to get simpsonized. How odd that I was looking for a stiff big, with child, preggers simpsonized body. This was all I managed to muster up. A defensive stance simpsonized me...perhaps this pose minimizes my little does look like I"m hiding something.
Anyhooters, what a quick weekend. My new pregnancy dope makes me extremely sleepy but I had to find that out after a 3 hour sleep stupor-coma. I rationalized enough to start taking it at night.
  • Had a bout with gas.
  • Had a bout with nausea.
  • Had a nightmare where an old woman with purple-red eyes told me to beware of Richard Werewolf. Whatever that means...
  • The usual.
Got some lower back pain right now from doing laundry...perhaps God is punishing me for doing chores on the Westernized Sabbath. Even my Grandmother chided me for working...swore that I wouldn't have made it in her time. "Gal, you expecting. You don't wash no damn clothes on no Sunday. You should've did it yesterday. In my day...Let me tell you...We had washboards." She fell into a hush so that the seriousness of that word would wash over me...literally and figuratively.
But today was a good day. This magical moment with my Granny was not a random one. Today was her 78th birthday and my mother and aunts gave her big dinner. It was nice and filling. I think the Bourgie Baby enjoyed it because I haven't been nauseous or dizzy all day.
This anticlimactic weekend and my entire summer is waning in these last moments...I start work tomorrow. New job. New environment. Lil Bug is quiet as kept until I can't hide it any longer. Hopefully I can keep my newly profound gas, nausea, and appetite under control for so long. At least I got the entire 1st trimester out of the way during my vacation.
Besides that, I'll be sending my old job the lyrics of Fantasia's "Two Weeks Notice",
signed mdgg and Lil Bourgie Bug

The love that me and you shared expired

So there will be no renewing our contracts
And I aint got nothing since I've been hired
So I cant take you back
I done gave love and aint got no commission
So give me one reason why I should stay here
I thought compared to all the other [jobs] you were different
But I cried the same old tears
I cant take it, I cant do it no

This is my two week notice
I resign my position because
You aint treating me right
I been working on the job
Just busting my ass
Pleasing you everyday and night
I get no raises or no benefits
You stay with this establishment
Im gone, this is my two week notice


Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Cravings Report: Ho Chi Mean Green

so I was telling Daddy Kaboom, "What about Chinese tonight?", all the while giving in to the fact that we're making sloppy joes as i type. What I wouldn't do for a sushi roll or some sesame chicken and sauteed, crunchy, delicately salted green beans.

Cravings haven't been much of an issue and nothing bizarre. everybody has been telling me about the ice cream and pickles to where the schtick of it is just, well, a little like flat ginger ale - not satisfying unless i'm burping.

Foods me and my bourgie baby love:
Grilled Chicken Deluxe from Wendy's = extra tomatoes and pickles please
Loaded Omelet biscuit or some type of sausage biscuit from Hardees
Mango ice cream - the off brand kind from Winn Dixie - it's the best and i grew up on it
Big salads (think Seinfeld)
Baked french fries or just anything potato-y (helps the nausea somehow)
A big hunk of pizza from Sam's Club - it's not just for bulk shopping
Breakfast....when six a.m. hits, i'm famished and headed to the kitchen for a country breakfast...

Just like yesterday morning, I had the most fabulous breakfast: thick, creamy, hot grits, fried green tomatoes, country rind bacon (yeah, we minimally partake in the swine - kick rocks), country biscuits with fat free butter spray; even though i was too lazy to fry up some eggs, the Gaines-Griggs klan ate very well. Such a memorable breakfast for some reason. I know what you're thinking: how could me and my bourgie baby partake in such low brow cuisine? are we slumming for a meal to brag to our friends that we partook in such random choices for our delicate and refined palates, as if they were delicacies that "those people" eat?

Such is the quandary for this blog. This blog is dedicated the confabulations of an educated country girl trying to make it in this world with a cast of characters and a globular of life in utero. But I tell you what, me and this bougie baby ate the hell out of the breakfast and it was still filling with out having to be a buffet.



Monday, July 23, 2007

The Initial Mother Wit

it has been confirmed. that beautiful blob is my little bourgie baby bka as Lil Bug - gender specific alterations will happen once they are confirmed.

its all a little surreal. my first doctor's visit was very uneventful. talk to dr. haha, get buck naked waist down, and we'll take it from there. when i saw the little blob, a feeling of warmth, literally, came over me. i guess it's that initial motherly love and wit you get, if you truly possess it. i even saw his little arms wiggling...he was just lying there, perhaps talking to God, configuring his life's plan, which he will forget in a few months...

i saw the cutest baby furniture that i'm sure will suit my bourgie baby...i mean how can you have a bourgie baby and you ain't got the color scheme going...i should get my priorities straight, but my so-called middle class values are inhibiting me from thinking practically. we all want our children to have the best, but somehow that never worked in my case. i think i did just fine with "ok" or "slightly damaged" or "irregular" or "mildly dented", even "salvage". why do we create bourgie babies?
but back to that baby the color schemes are minty turquoise and chocolate...very neutral, preppy for a boy, retro for a little girl, perfect for mommy - the unofficial pseudo-nursery decorator....well maybe not a nursery, but my bourgie baby will have a room in the apartment which will also suffice as an office...a nook of its own. My unapologetically metrosexual friend-brother, Toby1Kenobi, laughingly told me that strangely, he knew exactly what colors they were and agreed that they were a nice touch...or did he...i just remember him saying something about yellow and if! Clearly not bourgie enough! Yellow and blue are the colors of necessity and practicality, unisex conglomerations of outfits found at any department store. Minty turquoise and chocolate, that's pizzazz, totally UN-random, not found in bulk and on every shelf. Lil Bug will be a trendy, kick ass, individual - I'll even settle for fashionable eccentric. We shall see (I just have to laugh at myself).

my hubby, whom we'll call Daddy Kaboom, was simply delighted with this blurred picture, but it's so nice that we are sharing this experience together, happily and on purpose. Surely he has that explosive shot that has "gotten" me in this blessed situation despite the nausea and wooziness sent from hell. It has made me the Lesser Phenomenal Woman because "Still, I lie, less phenomenally, in sickness, I lie in wake..."

I write myself down in blog's history/
With my bitter, frank truths/
I may fly in nausea's pursuit/
And still, like phlegm, I lie...